did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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