so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
