I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
