Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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