im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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