he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
