I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
