are you so shy because you have an std?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
try to milk me bitch
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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