I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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