I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize