and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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