a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
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