Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
