porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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