but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
