do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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