another moral hangover. fuck.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
