I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
