Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
