My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
