Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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