I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
