Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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