This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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