pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize