you're like a bully in the Christmas story
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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