remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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