so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
