we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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