Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I need moral support for this bender
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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