I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
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