theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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