were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize