your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
