If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
