p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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