i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
