he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
