I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
