I don't usually arrange sex via text message
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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