you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
