I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
i out mim tonsoeep
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