The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Terrible idea I love it
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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