Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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