you guys were way drunker than both of me
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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