North Korea, Best Korea!
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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