peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
