There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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