Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
me + whiskey = a bad person
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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