Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize
