dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize