There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
