U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
