I accidentally had phone sex last night
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
