I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
When are your genitals available?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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