so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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