i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
