Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Found your dick twin last night
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
