that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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