Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
The chlamydia really affected his face.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Randomize
