Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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