Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
