Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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