I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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