I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
