You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
