It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
her vagine was all disorganized.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize