like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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