ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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